User blog:Lee Dixon/Lee Dixon Reviews; Freddy vs Jason
So i was going to Review the Evil Dead series and those Reviews are written and still coming..but since i said i'll review them NEXT I obviously don't follow that and review something else..NEVER TRUST ME WITH A SCHEDULE...So today is Freddy vs Jason..Not just any Freddy vs Jason..my own Fan Fiction Freddy vs Jason. I wrote this last year..it's a sequel to my Nightmare on Elm Street fan fiction which acts as a Sequel to the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street...I probably should've reviewed that first if i'm reviewing my own fan fiction...Sigh..anyway this fan fiction is also a sequel to the Friday the 13th remake..http://horror-fanfic.wikia.com/wiki/Freddy_vs_Jason There's a link to the Fan Fiction if you want to read it before this review...now ONTO THE REVIEW The Review So the Story starts off with Derren the main character of the Nightmare on Elm Street remake fan fiction..Telling the events of that fan fiction.i'm just gonna copy and paste that so i don't have to sum it all up. "Hello, My name is Derren Renny, 93 days ago i lost my wife, I got in a car crash, I was in a coma for a few days, The Doctors told me it was a drunken accident, That's not what really happened, I hadn't slept in 3-4 days, i was experiencing Micro Naps, i was staying awake to avoid, A man named Freddy Krueger, He was my wife's father, and also her killer, but he....died a long time before that, He was a pedophile, The parents found out and they.....burned him alive..without any proper evidence, Then, he came back, in people's dreams...where they can't protect theirselves, Immortal, and extremely dangerous, He killed several people, I managed to drag him out of the dream world, into the real world, I killed him by camp crystal lake..He fell into the lake, and it's now been 93 days, and since then, i've been haunted by the events that happened, I relive those memories every night, in my dreams...But now Freddy's dead, so i'm safe in those dreams" and by the way for cast purposes I cast Benedict CUmberbatch as him....It didn't matter as it was just writing...I just thought you should know. So for some reason his Therapist believes him and the whole Haunted by the events that happened won't really ever come into play..I kinda forgot about that...The Therapist rushes him out the room because i was playing Gta V at the time and i based him off the asshole therapist in that. Clay from the Friday the 13th remake played by Jared Padalecki goes into the Diner (He's Sam from Supernatural) and The Waitress clearly attracted to him gives him her number after he orders a Bacon Cheeseburger (Dean's regular meal in Supernatural..That is a reference) He also flashbacks to Friday the 13th (2009) during it..and I never ever mention it if i can remember correctly but his sister died too. We then go to a Sex Scene for purposes that every movie with Jason in them must have a Sex Scene. The characters were Ken Myers (the Guy) and Sarah (The GIrl) none of you are probably going to get the Ken Myers reference but some will. So anyway Jason who's under the bed kills them and walks away. Derren who is a Camp Counsolor now for the sake of Camp Counsolors is alerted by A Teenager about the bodies he goes and finds..Tells her alert the other fucking camp counselors and then goes to bed...Such a great camp counselor. In bed he is met by Freddy..Who throws him against the wall and stabs him in the stomach several times..Derren really should've just fucking died right there but for story purposes he doesn't..Really conveniently he says he has a alarm clock set for 10 am and since dreams last a few minutes apparently all of a sudden..He grabs Freddy and suddenly he's awake and Freddy's in the real world..and he kicks Freddy out the window supposedly killing Freddy...and did i mention that even though His alarm clock was set for HOURS later at 10 Am and now all of a sudden..it's only a few minutes later and it's still night? Who wrote this story? Oh wait...I did. So Samantha (The Teenager a few minutes ago) alerts the other Counselors and all of a sudden Jason appears...He tends to do that....He kills the Counselors and now Clay appears...I wonder if Jason taught him that? Who has a shotgun now and shoots Jason to distract him from Samantha and Clay runs...Jason chases after him..while running Clay spots Derren standing over Freddy's body. WHY WOULD DERREN CHECK? JUST RUN ..So he very slowly introduces himself to Clay who's running and asks who he is..Clay introduces himself while saying Run but Jason grabs Derren but before Jason can kill him Freddy awakes and makes Jason drop Derren by stabbing Jason in the back..Derren and Clay flee and Jason and Freddy prepare to fight...Part 1 ends. Now onto Part 2 (Yes this is going to be a Long Review) So Freddy and Jason fight..it's sadly disappointing..Really disappointing..like..Freddy destroys Jasons mask and they continue to fight..Jason stabs Freddy and Freddy again supposedly dies...HOW MANY SUPPOSED DEATHS IS THERE IN THIS STORY? Derren and Clay flee and spot the other Teenagers who just arrived from the Bar....all likely under 18 in canon or 21 since this is america...That's Friday the 13th logic for ya. (Despite being probably played by actors in their thirties and over..) Derren and Clay decide to save the others and go back...They go back to the Cabin where the fight took place finding 0 bodies... 3 of the Teens swim in the lake..All you need to know is Freddy kills them and you find out Freddy can heal in the Real world too..Jason picks off the rest of the Teenagers and grabs Samantha and decapitates her..That's the end of Part 2..Really disappointing...Part 3 is probably the most entertaining of the 3 though..atleast in my opinion. So Jason gets out of Camp Crystal Lake and Freddy follows..Scratching the Trees leaving marks..Derren and Clay find these marks and realize that they are out of Camp Crystal Lake...A few hours later Jason encounters a Sports Shop and kills the Owner who tries to stop him with a shotgun..he grabs a hockey mask there. Freddy just randomly decides to go into the Diner where the Waitress is there..he undresses her and hangs her on a Meat Hook in a nod to Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He slowly and brutally kills her and Leaves a Message so Derren and Clay find her dead...I guess he just has powers to make him know Clay knows her. Clay and Derren find there and we find out her name's Lily..The Death of Lily is probably the best scene in the entire story imo..It's kinda disturbing and brutal. So Jason and Freddy find each other and they fight..It's kinda disappointing..This is THE FIGHT between Freddy vs Jason and it's mostly Freddy just kicking Jason's ass...Freddy grabs Jason's machete..Slices open his Stomach and then decapitates Jason...Then runs away...Derren and Clay just randomly find this for no reason and Jason's decapitated head..He's really dead this time btw..Kinda disappointing how he died.... In the single cheesiest line of Dialogue i have EVER wrote Derren says "Freddy vs Jason...Freddy won". So they decide to split up to find Freddy..Derren enters a building after seeing Freddy enter it and they fight..for 3 seconds...Freddy tells Derren "When you get there..Tell my daughter to go fuck herself!" What a great dad! Freddy kills Derren in a really disappointing way. Derren got an entire 6 issues of his own Freddy story! He got a really disappointing death. Clay enters and finds the body of Derren..Freddy finds him and they fight...Clay gets stabbed but Clay also stabs Freddy in the heart...WHAT THE FUCK? FREDDY DIED FOR THE LAST TIME THAT WAY? How disappointing...Clay drops down bleeding from the wound and he suddenly closes his eyes..and it ends..THAT'S HOW THE STORY ENDS? i hate Ambiguous endings....Everyone died but Clay..and even then we don't know if he actually survived or not..left ambiguous..There is a story coming out in a couple of years that plans to be this..but extended and will tie up everything that was left ambiguous and will be a lot better. So that was Freddy vs Jason...Really didn't like it..People will be surprised to hear that the own writer doesn't like his own story..People do and they can like it if they want..I just don't really looking back at it. I give Freddy vs Jason (My version) a ' 4 OUT OF 10' I'll see you all when i review the Evil Dead series..Till then..Bye! Category:Blog posts